The Tao of Blackjack

1. Play the odds unless you are by yourself. Splitting 10's is not pro-social behavior. Plus, it throws off the chi of the table.
2. Leave the table immediately if people do not follow Rule 1.
3. Never play against the dealer alone. One hundred bucks will evaporate in five minutes.
4. Never listen to a pit boss who tries to convince you to play against the odds.
5. Make sure the dealer does not take away your money on a winning hand - they can be sneaky!

I loved my dealer last night (yes, I'm in Vegas for trip #6). She told me that I look younger than 26 - I still got It!!! My secret is moisturizer, honest. Nothing frightens me more than scalpels, barbed threads, or botulinum toxin entering my body. [shudder]

Free At Last

It's official - my big news is that I got a new job. This will require two months of training in Sydney - score! - and some occasional short-term business travel to other branches in the US and Canada.

For those of you who have known me for a while, you are probably saying, "About effing time." I have been exploring options since Purgatory last summer. However, given that my current project is so great, it's been really hard for me to give notice. I have a lot of mixed feelings, mostly relief and excitement, but also a tinge of sadness for leaving behind some great people (well, with a few exceptions).

J is definitely happy that I'll be home more, so that we can spend time together more spontaneously. My mom is thrilled that I'll be able to eat dinner at home more often. I'm eager to have more time locally to spend with friends and also to try something new. Let's see where life takes me...

Down Under

[teaser]
Coming up I'm planning on going to Vegas, the Bahamas, and if I can swing it, Morocco to visit my good friend C.

Then in July and August, I'm going to Sydney. Yes, that's right, Australia. I should be back in time for the family trip to Alaska for my folks' 35th. Why Australia, that's coming...
[/teaser]

Go Big Red

Got this from a friend. If you didn't go to Cornell, you probably won't care. If you attended RPI or MIT, please disregard. :)

Doonesbury, which we have seen over the past few weeks, has featured one of its main characters, Alex Doonesbury, picking her college. It seems that the strip's author Gary Trudeau is allowing the public to pick her college for her via an online poll. If she picks Cornell, then Cornell's name will feature regularly in one of the most read and most respected comics in the United States. If anyone else thinks this would be cool,try voting yourself and sending the link off to your buddies.

Double Vision

Two celebrity sightings tonight in the East Village - a record! First, Kimora Lee (no longer Simmons) was modeling next to that new funky glass building. Then I saw Michael Musto walk his bike across 3rd Avenue with a few friends. Then it was off to the usual booze and junk food at Crif Dogs and Bua, as well as an ice cream treat at Australian.

Sob Stories

Is it a rule that all newly published memoirs must be depressing? While reviewing some non-fiction books for Elle's reader panel, the main recurring theme in all of the autobiographies was how horrible their life was at some time. Observe:

Hillbilly Gothic: uncomfortable pregnancy followed by mental ward-worthy postpartum depression. I really want to have kids now.

Jesus Land: Bible thumpers abuse their adopted black children, care more about the dog and missionary work than their kids, and send "misbehaving sinners" (read: normal teenagers) to ultraChristian reform school hell in the Dominican Republic. Thank God my parents are sane.

Lifeguarding: father is alcoholic and unemployed, then in junior high the author discovers she is a lesbian and comes out while in college - in 1970's Kentucky. I think this would have been more uplifting if the author had provided more details on how her life is now with her partner instead of leaving it as an afterthought in the acknowledgements.

The least depressing was The Horizontal World, which was basically about someone wanting to leave the North Dakota farm where she grew up. Not much happens in North Dakota, and this book of rebelling and becoming a metal singer and quasi-slacker was quite refreshing after reading tale after tale of woe. Not to marginalize the authors' experiences, but I think the sample Elle selected could have had more balance.

Hold Your Horses

For all of you complaining that I do not update my blog enough (Mike), there is a very good reason for that. Part of the reason is that my LGA-DCA travel schedule is very erratic. However, for reasons that I can't really discuss now, there are some things that have been keeping me busy. I may have some big news by the end of the week, that's all I can say right now...

Rejoice Ye Slacker

Thou shalt not fear the wrath of God - or thy boss - for extracurricular office web surfing, so sayeth the courts. I'm sure a lot of people are happy about this one...

A Village is Missing Its Necrophiliac

I can't figure out which is sicker, the person who has been looking for King Tut's penis (and measuring and examining it), or the person who broke it off in the first place (if that's what happened). Who out there really cares if Tutankhamun was better endowed than Ötzi the Iceman?

Contents Under Pressure

Some things about being a modern woman give me pause. I thought about this today while on the Delta Shuttle. Across the aisle, a woman in a pantsuit was wearing very high heels. Who travels in heels? Personally, I wear them when I am in the office or at a club; otherwise, I am in transit in flipflops or Puma-lookalike sneakers. The thought of dragging a rollaboard and a laptop bag or hoofing it to the subway in stilettos or anything with greater than an inch heel disturbs me.
To my left, a woman who appeared to be in her early to mid-thirties was reviewing her IVF handbook and highlighting relevant sections. Perhaps my maternal instincts have not gone into overdrive yet, but why would a woman pump herself full of carcinogenic drugs (needles - OW!) and then have eggs extracted(double OW!), on top of the general aches and pains of pregnancy, for the sake of having a child? One of my friends underwent this procedure, more so because her husband was snipped during his first marriage, and had such a miserable time. She had to undergo two cycles, and losing the first baby really destroyed her mental health for a few months. Plus, the progesterone she had to ingest during the first trimester made her hip joints hurt. To me, this sounds spookily like a woman's body becoming little more than a babymaking factory. Is having a "perfect family" worth it? I ask myself if I would be willing to undergo this if God forbid I ever have fertility issues. At this point, my answer would be an emphatic NO, that I would rather roll someone else's genetic dice and adopt or even just be everyone favorite "auntie" than endure this, and I have profound respect and befuddlement for those who do.
The underlying question is then, after over thirty years of feminism and women's lib, must we still be valued by our ability to look good in uncomfortable shoes and pop out babies? Has the movement to emancipate women from the chains of the "feminine mystique" simply encaged us in a new prison? Selfishly, is this what I have to look forward to?!

Book(tape)worm

I have gotten a lot of reading done lately, which is good since I have umpteen million books sitting on shelves at home and in my parents' place, waiting to be read and then sold or given back to their owners.

Since my last post, I have read 7 books. Woo woo. Here is my take in 5 words or less:

Chocolat - more colorful than the movie
Christ the Lord - Young Jewish Jesus, fast read
French Women Don't Get Fat - good recipes, slightly too Francophile
Persepolis 2 - Iranian teen in Europe, illustrated
Veronica - NYTimes Bestseller for good reason
Smashed: A Drunken Girlhood - reminds me of some friends (and/or their significant others)
Influence - psych take on manipulation
Star Struck - Pam Anderson roman a clef, take 2

The Influence book says that to take a public vow is very effective for sticking to goals, so let's see if this works. As of today, I will not be purchasing any more books or taking any out of the library until I have read through at least all the ones on my apartment shelf.

Happy Passover/Easter

Ahh the joys of interfaith couplehood. One main benefit is two sets of holidays. Another is not fighting over whose mother to visit for the holidays, since each mom takes care of a separate holiday.

Yesterday I baked the NYT's sesame Passover cookies. They came out quite good, although I learned not to grind sesame seeds that are still hot from being toasted. I did not kasher my kitchen, but I did use matzoh cake meal, which took trips to two stores to find, in Forest Hills no less.

Jason's family's Seder was significantly shorter than the Passoutover (i.e., thank-God-there-is-no-hell-in-Judaism irreverent Seder) my friend James holds. Not that I am complaining. The homemade matzoh ball soup hit the spot after a long day of dealing with getting signature files faxed to the accountant. I also discovered that gefilte fish can taste good, if you buy the right kind - Manischevitz Gold is quite good. The flourless chocolate cake was the pinnacle, and the lead sinker, of the meal. It was so good I didn't mind the feeling of a dessert that rich impeding my digestion. J's mom sent us home with a care package - yeay!

Low-Carb and Loathing It

I have not eaten carbs in eight days. However, I have a feeling that will go out the window this week, what with the holidays....

Sisterly Love

My sorority celebrates Founder's Day today, our 111th anniversary. Rah rah. I guess I'm ambivalent about the experience, since I was considered an alcoholic slut in a house half-full of stuck-up boring prisses, and we spent half our time worrying about recruiting pledges to try to avoid the inevitable shut-down. Now a scummy frat took over our house.

A great paraphrased quote from Koren Zailckas: "Anything that needs a concept-word such as sisterhood to define it is bullshit." (Note: the sorority she joined at SU is really Kappa Alpha Theta. Guess she wasn't as vindictive as that psycho at Sam Houston who posted "ritual" on the Internet and spouted a bunch of Bible-thumping True Love Waits crap.)

Cooking Do's and Dont's

Tip #456,760 - do not cook kofta on a stove-top grill without an exhaust fan. Unless of course you enjoy filling small spaces with beef-scented smoke.

Since my mom insists that I not cook for holidays, I took my folks out to Uncle George's for their wedding anniversary. It was empty, which is highly unusual, but totally fine since we didn't have to wait.

F-f-f-foolin'

Was very tempted to call J and "come out" as a lesbian or a dominatrix, but thought it could backfire; either he'd break up with me or ask for a demonstration.

Shopping - The Agony and the Ecstasy

My shopping exploits over the past couple of days have been mixed. Yesterday I got two Diane von Furstenberg suitcases for under 200 bucks at TJ Maxx. They don't match, but the bright colors should prevent going home with the wrong standard-issue black rollaboard. Score!

On to Bloomingdale's for suits - completely struck out. The merchandise either fit poorly or was way too expensive, even with coupons. Plus, I could barely get cropped jeans up my thighs. I'm having a Bloated Day. ARGH!

Always having to end on a positive, a package of clothes arrived at my parents' today. The bathing suit and summer dresses fit almost to a T. Whee!!! I'm getting set for a rocking stylish summer.

Spring Cleaning

Today I started cleaning my apartment, top-to-bottom. I got throug the bathroom and the changing area, and the vacuuming. Now I am completely exhausted, but I figure the effort is worth it so that my apartment can be immaculate and guest-ready if friends or parents drop in unexpectedly. All I have to do now is get into the habit of making my bed.

It seems the time is right for cleaning out the clutter of my life. In addition to paring down my calendar, I think I will start separating the wheat from the chaff where friends are concerned. [rant] I'm getting sick and tired of "frenemies" who are constantly namedropping and playing the top-this game, or who do spiteful and mean things and think I don't notice or don't care. Heads up, biatches, I do notice, but I don't care enough about you to bitch the way you might. I have bared the claws in the past, and it is not pretty, hence why I do so sparingly and only in extreme situations. I am losing my tolerance for people who meddle in my affairs, try to make me feel like I'm not being current or good enough, blow me off to do "something more important", subject me or my friends to verbal abuse, or call me only when they need something. Eff that. Lose my number, I already deleted yours. [/rant]

Back to scrubbing...

Bibliophilia

In the last week, I have acquired over 10 books, between the Queens Public Library (Forest Hills branch), Half.com, and Buy.com. Not to mention, I currently have over twenty books on the To-Read stack here and at my folks' house. Does this qualify as an addiction or an obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Isaac Hayes is a Jerk

Thank you to the South Park creators for putting this brainwashed freak in his place. Scientology shouldn't try to impinge on free speech and humor because it makes them look stupid. If you follow a "religion" created by a sci-fi writer on a bet, then you should expect this. As he is trying to expel his internal aliens, he is alienating his fans.