Cruisin'

For my parents' 35th this year, we are going on a week-long cruise to Alaska in September. Yeay! Something to look forward to...

Gotta Have It

Does anyone know where I can buy apparel that Russia's Olympic team is wearing? Love love love the folk motif.

(Yes, I am planning on buying a US Team vest or t-shirt from roots - I like the blue stripe ones on the midriff.)

Hell for Tree-Huggers

I don't know how my karma is coming up with this, but this week the car rental company gives me an even bigger SUV. When I drive the Ford Explorer, I feel like I'm trying to navigate a tank in a Baghdad alleyway. Not to mention the hideous below-20 mpg. Do people really need to consume that much gas for that much car?

Let It Snow!

What a wonderful feeling to wake up and see fifteen inches of snow heaped on my air conditioner. Granted my block will probably not be plowed by the DSNY for at least three days, this means that I DON'T HAVE TO FLY OUT FOR WORK TONIGHT!! WHOOPPEE!!!

Jason and I spent the weekend lazing around, watching the Olympics - yeay! - cooking, reading, and just doing nothing. For V-Day, he made me (or rather, he planned the menu but we cooked together) mesclun salad, chicken over fettucine with his signature pink peppercorn cream sauce, and chocolate mousse with fresh whipped cream. Needless to say, I was very happy.

South Beach starts again on Wednesday so that I may indulge in goodies on Valentine's Day. I rationalize this since I won't be home to spend it with him, so I need some creature comforts. Plus, it's a holiday.

Bienvenidos a Miami

As luck would have it, there is another conference. This week it's in Miami, which means I got to work from home on Monday and Tuesday (yes!). However, this is not as poshy-posh as some of the others I've attended. For one, it is at an airport hotel, not somewhere swank on South Beach. Second, it is warmer right now in NYC than it is here. This is not beach or pool lounging weather (perhaps it was planned that way so as not to distract us from the conference?). The sponsors did OK with tonight's cocktail hour tho. Wish, the rooftop bar at The Hotel was really nice. Someone made it into the pool, but on purpose. The random post-party ended up at the Delano's pooside bar (guess everyone was in the chlorine mood). The infinity pool had a ledge that made dipping toes in convenient. 'Twas fun for all, until someone did a cannonball into the pristine blue and was hauled out, without his shoes. When munchies strike, there is a great 24-hour diner across the street that serves Cuban food, kinda like a Cuban Denny's. Joe and I enjoyed dirty rice, maduros, and garlicky yuca on the cab ride back to the Hovel - delicioso!

Chalking these two hotels on the To Stay list...

Ew

Sighting - hotel concierge providing small stack to portly, middle-aged techie drone. They looked like condoms. [bad mental image] I guess the only thing that would be worse would be if he were actually trying to spawn.

Techies Take O-Town

Thank God the Internet is more stable today - wireless at the Omni is pretty shite. So here I am again for another software conference. It's the usual IT-geek scene - mostly middle-age men in polos and chinos, running around with RFID badges to hear thrilling presentations on software roadmaps and integrations by day and chugging beers and passed hors d'oeuvres after the sessions wrap up. The hotel is pretty far from everything, but tonight they are bussing us to Universal Studios for a live Fear Factor performance. It should be interesting to watch software vendors and customers compete at bug eating or whatever.

Last night I got invited to a swank (for Orlando) dinner with C-level folks, both from my company and from the conference sponsor. The chardonnay got the best of me, and at the urging of the CEO et al. I ended up doing an a capella rendition of the first verse of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" (the annoying song from The Bodyguard) on the eternal bus ride back to the hotel. It brought the house down, which I guess is better than the glass windows.

In Vino Divertas

Connecting through O'Hare sucks. Luckily my friends had some bottles of wine open and invited me over on my way home. Yee ha.

Size Matters - for Bats - Who Woulda Thunk It?!

Apparently bat testicle size is inverse to brain size. This quote says it all - "Bats invest an enormous amount in testis, and the investment has to come from somewhere. There are no free lunches".

Several thoughts came to mind after I read this:

• Duh!
• Who in their right mind would measure bat testicles?!
• Aren't there more pressing research topics out there, like curing cancer or factors that matter for human evolution?

I Wish I Could Go Back to College

Just finished reading I Am Charlotte Simmons. This was a pretty accurate depiction of what happens on campus these days. Coke dates have taken on a whole new meaning, and "gentlemen" do not hold doors but they will gladly grasp onto the female body if they perceive even the slightest hint of an invitation. Some of the slang used was unfamiliar to me, but then again I have been out for over five years now. (God, am I that old now?)

In some ways I related to how Charlotte felt when I started freshman year - nervousness on taking on the mammoth challenge of a prestigious university, meeting new people - but I feel snapped out of it pretty quickly. Plus I think she was too hard on herself with Hoyt taking advantage of her. I had some experiences with guys where they acted like jerks, but it didn't cause me to fail my finals. I just commiserated with my girlfriends over a vodka-cran and sought out someone new (lather, rinse, repeat).

Karma seems to play an important role in how this book plays out. In some ways, this is unrealistic. It is all too rare that the "tools" get that kind of revenge over the BMOCs, to use an 80's phrase for lack of a better. All the bitchy girls at CU stuck together, and the athletes generally did not settle into monogamous relationships with nice gals. (Who out there remembers when a certain hockey player propositioned me frosh year for a threesome with his teammate? Just for the record, I turned them down on the spot.)

One strange thing about this book, it made me very nostalgic for college, to the point where I am seriously thinking about going back to school in some capacity. After I finished my hellacious final semester, I swore off additional graduate education. Now, I haven't decided what I would study, but part-time study sounds appealing to me right now [put crackpipe down].

My Pathetic Moral Dilemma

Having recently seen the movie Munich, I have been pondering my own moral conundrums. However, mine are not as profound as whether it is justified to kill people who planned the slaughter of my country's Olympic athletes. They are almost embarassing.

I take serious issue with the practices of some companies, such as Walmart and Starbucks. Walmart sucks the life out of their employees and the neighborhoods where they open up superstores. Starbucks makes really acidic coffee in almost every pocket of the world at the expense of every other coffee joint (of course, they are always closed at Kansas City International Airport when I need a pick-me-up). However, being on my own in Kansas City, the only thing late around here are Walmart. So one night, I went in for a couple of toiletries and ended up spending much too much money. Plus, I can't seem to stay away from the good ol' FourBucks even though it's overpriced, agita-inducing, and generic.

Do I stick to my guns and avoid these stores, or do I satisfy my craving for cheap retail and mediocre coffee?

I have too much free time to think about this stuff working here :(.

Her Cheating Mouth

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Testing my Resolve

2005 has come and gone. It seemed more accelerated towards the last few months, but I guess Purgatory made the summer seem longer than it was. At this time last year, I set a goal to lose 10 more pounds, travel to some exotic locales, and buy a tenor sax (well, at least be more cultural). Instead, I have gained about 5 pounds and ventured to such exotic locales as Vancouver, London, and Turks and Caicos, and I am still horn-less. The weight gain probably irks me the most out of all of these, although it has piled on very recently and there is more to it than pure laziness. The older I get, the more conflicted I am getting about how I look versus how I want to look. At the same time, I wonder if it all really matters in the end and if looking like a lollilop is worth the aggravation. After all, my boyfriend has not run backwards out of my apartment shrieking at the sight of my slightly expanded girth. In fact, I don't know if he really caught on to it until I told him.

This year, I still want to lose ten pounds and travel like a fiend and be cultural and all that stuff. However, maybe I'll augment my resolutions to do something positive as well, like be able to finally do unassisted pullups. I think I'll also take it easy on myself. My only travel goal for this year is to go visit my friend C during her Peace Corps stint in Morocco; anything else is a bonus. Plus, instead of getting frustrated and aggravated with the uncertainty and BS I put up with at work or in day-to-day, I am going to try to seek the adventure and hidden "Easter eggs" in life every day. This may sound a little corny, but I think it will prove to maintain my sanity better than any pharmeceutical, even in the face of heinous managers and bank fees.

Happy New Year, friends! Hope everyone got a good NYE kiss. I am off to digest the scrumtdiddlyumptous meal Jason and I stuffed down our gullet at the Capitol Grille. BTW - Dave and I agree the Delmonico with balsamic glaze was fork-licking good. Yes, I know it will not do wonders for my waistline - I start South Beach Phase 1 (again) tomorrow.

Semi-Anniversary

Jason and I have been together for six months now. We went out a few times before being more affectionate than a good-night peck on the cheek, so an actual anniversary date isn't really defined. No matter. This isn't high school where people get monogrammed mirror keychains and celebrate every month and all that crap.

This is the longest, most substantive relationship I've ever been in. It's a little scary, but at the same time, I really like Jason and am happy we have been doing so well for this long.

At the minimum, I still have no homicidal tendencies. To the best of my knowledge, he hasn't cheated, telepathically broken up with me, tried to kill me, talked smack behind my back, or otherwise pissed me off. But there's more to it. I look forward to spending time with him. He's a good kisser. We have similar views on finances and values, and we can talk about everything from books to bars. On the flip side, I think he appreciates, among other things, my lack of psychological disorders and academic issues. I think our only major difference is that, to quote Sarah Silverman, he is one of the Chosen People, and I believe Jesus is magic. I am not gushing because he is going to read this. Smooches, hun :).

So far I have been to the gym every day this week and while not hardcore SouthBeach-ing, am trying to behave. Last night I had a moment of weakness licking the bowl after making brownies for my building's super and custodians. But there is a glimmer of hope. While not quite comfortable, my favorite jeans do not feel like sausage casing anymore. Hooray for progress!

Please Put Me Down

Just finished reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Although it made the NYTimes 100 Notable Books of 2005, I thought it dragged out too long. It should not take an entire chapter to describe a conversation. This is not to mention the underlying concept of the book, children who are cloned from society's outcasts solely to donate their organs.

I much preferred On Beauty by Zadie Smith, and the NYT placed this on the Top Fiction of the Year. While it overwrought some cliches on African-Americans, the familial dynamics and issues they confront in the multi-racial marriage really hit head-on. This was worth the $2.25 in overdue fees that I incurred at the Forest Hills branch for returning a 7-Day book a week late.

Thigh Anxiety

As I get older, I'm starting to hate the holidays. The materialism and over-hyped commercialism is one thing, but I am very good at getting shopping done - this year I got about 75% of it done in London. What is freaking me out is the incessant feasting, and the subsequent effects on my lower body girth. Here is the schedule so far:

Thursday: dinner at Tiro a Segno with Auntie Nancy and Uncle Michele

Friday: dinner at an Italian restaurant with Cathy and Laura

Saturday: Christmas Eve - sleep with the fishese in my stomach

Sunday: food food food at ny Aunt Judy's house

I feel my upper thighs expanding just thinking about this. Starting New Years, I think I will be going South-Beach vegan or something.

KCMO ho

I have been pleasantly surprised by Kansas City. Really, I didn't know what to expect. Granted it's a city, but it's in the middle of the Midwest, in red-state country. I wasn't sure how they would react to a Yankee like me. It's actually been a lot of fun these past few days. Almost won a hundred bucks playing Hold 'Em until I lost my chips after rebuy passed going all in and getting beat by a higher pair.

Things I like about Kansas City so far:

• co-workers are really nice and fun to hang out with
• more frequent flier miles
• Culver's ButterBurgers
• Diet Cherry Limeade at Sonic - they advertise in New York but there are none north of the Mason-Dixon line. I went back at 10:30 to get another one, although I may not be able to finish it
• barbecue - Jack Stack's baked beans especially kicked ass
• the Plaza buildings decorated with lights look like gingerbread houses - tres cute

Things that piss me off:

• driving to work - there will be no transit strike here because there is no transit
• 6:30am flights on Friday mornings - OUCH!
• 1 hour time difference is really throwing me off with meetings
• not being in the Big Room back in DC to browbeat my coworkers on recycling soda bottles instead of playing trash basketball with them
• missing the account Christmas party in Washington and my department's Christmas party back home

Crusade for Christmas anyone?

This whole "Take Back Christmas movement" is very odd, almost farcical. I'm somewhat torn about the whole debate - while I like to be inclusive to non-Christians or those that don't celebrate Christmas, there's nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah (however the f you spell it) or Kwanzaa or the Winter Solstice or Festivus or the New Year or any holiday in general. When did everyone get so sensitive about wishing someone a good holiday by its name? Holidays are good things. They make people happy, and they usually mean time off from work. We should encourage people to be festive, and we shouldn't be ashamed to say "Merry Christmas", "Happy New Year", "Good Festivus", etc.

On the flipside, why are people wasting time and money suing and threatening lawsuits and all this junk? Doesn't anyone have better use of their time, say for fighting hunger or doing things that would really make Jesus proud? There was a great editorial in the NYTimes about this over the weekend. Too bad you have to pay to read it now...

Somebodies vs. Nobodies

I got a copy of Somebodies and Nobodies free from BookCrossing. While it has some good ideas and I related to some of the personal anecdotes, it's about 50 or 75 pages too long and gets a bit repetitive. Moreover, I doubt people with power will have an epiphany and stop treating their underlings like sh*t; it's too much fun sometimes to watch people suffer. I would bet money that employee satisfaction would go up if every senior manager in my company read it and actually took some of the ideas to heart.

Speaking of books, Reprint Bookstore in DC is closing after fifty years. Damn shame, since everything else in L'Enfant Plaza, including 70% of the lunch options near my office, are shutting down as well to make way for a children's museum. However, the entire inventory is marked down at least 20%, and sales are fun :).

Just Read - The Devil Wears Prada

Yes I know I'm a bit behind in trendy reading. Just found this used at The Strand (that place can induce vertigo) and thought I would support a fellow Cornell alumna. It's a cute, fast read altogether, and I definitely sympathize with boss-from-hell trauma. Apparently IMDB is listing a 2006 movie release. There are so many reviewers out there who I'm sure would love to see Lauren Weisberger stripped down in the town square to Fruit of the Loom skivvies (how hoi polloi!), but hey, if people treat their charges like crap, it's only karmic to have it come back to haunt them. The only thing that puzzled me was Andrea's lack of fashion interest. It seems every female at Cornell with any decent social network was hyper-aware of being uber-fashionable, especially since it was almost de rigeur for entrance into certain top-notch sororities.

Maybe I should write a roman a clef about my job...but is anyone out there interested in the soap opera that is Big 4 consulting?