Irie!

M, O, and I all made plans to go to Jamaica. As it turned out, the morning of our flight, M and O both got monster stomach bugs. M toughed it out and made it to the airport, whereas O could barely stand up and sadly missed our trip. (p.s. M is a guy friend. Yes, I traveled with an unrelated male. No, we didn't have any hanky panky. I don't care what "When Harry Met Sally" said.)

This yet again turned into my yearly do-nothing vacation. Last year was Tulum with O. There's nothing wrong with spending a few days on a resort eating, drinking, lounging by water, reading, and otherwise being inactive. However, next year, I'd prefer less children around. Nothing against my friends with kids, I am currently child-free and would like peace and quiet for a few days out of the year. Nothing wrong with that right?

Inevitably, food and drink will be judged stringently. Red Stripe beer is not bad, neither is Real Rock. There were several rounds of fruity rum-based cocktails. I also got into the local fare served on the buffet, maybe more so than the other crap.

The only non-inert thing we did was go down the water slide and take a kayak in the ocean. Since M can't swim, the options were limited. I think the sea kayaking freaked him out a bit, especially after we would go over waves. Those poor children swimming near us heard quite a few expletives. It's hard to teach an adult how to swim. My mission was to get M to float on his back and failed. I feel like I've been swimming my whole life - how do you explain it?

Getting hit on by waiters was interesting. It seems social networking has become the latest pickup lead.

"You single?"
"Yea."
"You should move to Jamaica and marry a Jamaican. They'd love you."
"OK I'll consider it."
"You on MySpace or Facebook?"
[bald-faced lie] "No I don't use those."

Yea, I still got it.