Thank God I'm Single

So I thought it couldn't get any more hysterical than being dumped for a gorgon. Oh, it does. Apparently, Captain America got married in November very quickly to someone he was dating while we were exclusive. Fifty bucks says she's got a bun in the oven. Boys and girls, condoms!!!!

Given the choice between a) dating a boring newt, b) marrying a gun-toting psychopath because he doesn't understand birth control, or c) being a freebird, I'll take c, hands down.