Saturday, January 05, 2008

A Load of (Mechanical) Bull

Rules for Riding a Mechanical Bull:
  1. Go on an off night, so you will not make a total ass of yourself in front of 20,000 tourists and drunk i-bankers.
  2. Bring photo ID, and make sure your friends do too, or you will be the only idiot allowed to ride the bull.
  3. Have a drink. No, have a few drinks. Without speaking from experience, I'm almost 100% certain the experience of being flung around for all to laugh and point is more enjoyable when not sober.
  4. Don't slouch. The pictures (and video!) will have you looking like The Hunchback of Midtown.
  5. Urinate before entering the bullring.
  6. You're supposed to only hold on with one hand, but if not that many people are around, you can get away with two. However, you may hold on so tight that you pull a muscle in your armpit.
  7. If you can, climb off the bull yourself. People may boo, but it beats being flung off ungracefully.

Here's hoping Massa's amateur video of me does not end up on Youtube!