How do you say Forrest Gump in Chinese?

I want to date this guy, although the facial hair would not fly well.

Is this where Dante had in mind when he wrote L'Inferno?

[DISCLAIMER: this post may inflame Texans and especially Houstonians. If one of them happens to be my brother's ex-fiancee, here's hoping you spontaneously burst into flames anyway.]

Three days in a town is not enough to grasp the essence of a particular place, especially when most of the 72 hours is spent behind a desk. I did not have great expectations of Houston when I found out I'd have some business to take care of, in mid-summer no less. My impression has not changed much. Turbulence on landing and on take-off, sweltering heat, and lack of pedestrians anywhere would do it. We drove three blocks, which is heretical for New Yorkers.

I will give Houston this: everyone (minus the ex-fiancee devil spawn) is incredibly nice. I have a few friends who live there and some who are soon relocating. Plus, prices are really low. Still, not enough reason for me to pack my bags and buy a ginormous house.