Her Cheating Mouth

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Testing my Resolve

2005 has come and gone. It seemed more accelerated towards the last few months, but I guess Purgatory made the summer seem longer than it was. At this time last year, I set a goal to lose 10 more pounds, travel to some exotic locales, and buy a tenor sax (well, at least be more cultural). Instead, I have gained about 5 pounds and ventured to such exotic locales as Vancouver, London, and Turks and Caicos, and I am still horn-less. The weight gain probably irks me the most out of all of these, although it has piled on very recently and there is more to it than pure laziness. The older I get, the more conflicted I am getting about how I look versus how I want to look. At the same time, I wonder if it all really matters in the end and if looking like a lollilop is worth the aggravation. After all, my boyfriend has not run backwards out of my apartment shrieking at the sight of my slightly expanded girth. In fact, I don't know if he really caught on to it until I told him.

This year, I still want to lose ten pounds and travel like a fiend and be cultural and all that stuff. However, maybe I'll augment my resolutions to do something positive as well, like be able to finally do unassisted pullups. I think I'll also take it easy on myself. My only travel goal for this year is to go visit my friend C during her Peace Corps stint in Morocco; anything else is a bonus. Plus, instead of getting frustrated and aggravated with the uncertainty and BS I put up with at work or in day-to-day, I am going to try to seek the adventure and hidden "Easter eggs" in life every day. This may sound a little corny, but I think it will prove to maintain my sanity better than any pharmeceutical, even in the face of heinous managers and bank fees.

Happy New Year, friends! Hope everyone got a good NYE kiss. I am off to digest the scrumtdiddlyumptous meal Jason and I stuffed down our gullet at the Capitol Grille. BTW - Dave and I agree the Delmonico with balsamic glaze was fork-licking good. Yes, I know it will not do wonders for my waistline - I start South Beach Phase 1 (again) tomorrow.

Semi-Anniversary

Jason and I have been together for six months now. We went out a few times before being more affectionate than a good-night peck on the cheek, so an actual anniversary date isn't really defined. No matter. This isn't high school where people get monogrammed mirror keychains and celebrate every month and all that crap.

This is the longest, most substantive relationship I've ever been in. It's a little scary, but at the same time, I really like Jason and am happy we have been doing so well for this long.

At the minimum, I still have no homicidal tendencies. To the best of my knowledge, he hasn't cheated, telepathically broken up with me, tried to kill me, talked smack behind my back, or otherwise pissed me off. But there's more to it. I look forward to spending time with him. He's a good kisser. We have similar views on finances and values, and we can talk about everything from books to bars. On the flip side, I think he appreciates, among other things, my lack of psychological disorders and academic issues. I think our only major difference is that, to quote Sarah Silverman, he is one of the Chosen People, and I believe Jesus is magic. I am not gushing because he is going to read this. Smooches, hun :).

So far I have been to the gym every day this week and while not hardcore SouthBeach-ing, am trying to behave. Last night I had a moment of weakness licking the bowl after making brownies for my building's super and custodians. But there is a glimmer of hope. While not quite comfortable, my favorite jeans do not feel like sausage casing anymore. Hooray for progress!

Please Put Me Down

Just finished reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Although it made the NYTimes 100 Notable Books of 2005, I thought it dragged out too long. It should not take an entire chapter to describe a conversation. This is not to mention the underlying concept of the book, children who are cloned from society's outcasts solely to donate their organs.

I much preferred On Beauty by Zadie Smith, and the NYT placed this on the Top Fiction of the Year. While it overwrought some cliches on African-Americans, the familial dynamics and issues they confront in the multi-racial marriage really hit head-on. This was worth the $2.25 in overdue fees that I incurred at the Forest Hills branch for returning a 7-Day book a week late.

Thigh Anxiety

As I get older, I'm starting to hate the holidays. The materialism and over-hyped commercialism is one thing, but I am very good at getting shopping done - this year I got about 75% of it done in London. What is freaking me out is the incessant feasting, and the subsequent effects on my lower body girth. Here is the schedule so far:

Thursday: dinner at Tiro a Segno with Auntie Nancy and Uncle Michele

Friday: dinner at an Italian restaurant with Cathy and Laura

Saturday: Christmas Eve - sleep with the fishese in my stomach

Sunday: food food food at ny Aunt Judy's house

I feel my upper thighs expanding just thinking about this. Starting New Years, I think I will be going South-Beach vegan or something.

KCMO ho

I have been pleasantly surprised by Kansas City. Really, I didn't know what to expect. Granted it's a city, but it's in the middle of the Midwest, in red-state country. I wasn't sure how they would react to a Yankee like me. It's actually been a lot of fun these past few days. Almost won a hundred bucks playing Hold 'Em until I lost my chips after rebuy passed going all in and getting beat by a higher pair.

Things I like about Kansas City so far:

• co-workers are really nice and fun to hang out with
• more frequent flier miles
• Culver's ButterBurgers
• Diet Cherry Limeade at Sonic - they advertise in New York but there are none north of the Mason-Dixon line. I went back at 10:30 to get another one, although I may not be able to finish it
• barbecue - Jack Stack's baked beans especially kicked ass
• the Plaza buildings decorated with lights look like gingerbread houses - tres cute

Things that piss me off:

• driving to work - there will be no transit strike here because there is no transit
• 6:30am flights on Friday mornings - OUCH!
• 1 hour time difference is really throwing me off with meetings
• not being in the Big Room back in DC to browbeat my coworkers on recycling soda bottles instead of playing trash basketball with them
• missing the account Christmas party in Washington and my department's Christmas party back home

Crusade for Christmas anyone?

This whole "Take Back Christmas movement" is very odd, almost farcical. I'm somewhat torn about the whole debate - while I like to be inclusive to non-Christians or those that don't celebrate Christmas, there's nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah (however the f you spell it) or Kwanzaa or the Winter Solstice or Festivus or the New Year or any holiday in general. When did everyone get so sensitive about wishing someone a good holiday by its name? Holidays are good things. They make people happy, and they usually mean time off from work. We should encourage people to be festive, and we shouldn't be ashamed to say "Merry Christmas", "Happy New Year", "Good Festivus", etc.

On the flipside, why are people wasting time and money suing and threatening lawsuits and all this junk? Doesn't anyone have better use of their time, say for fighting hunger or doing things that would really make Jesus proud? There was a great editorial in the NYTimes about this over the weekend. Too bad you have to pay to read it now...

Somebodies vs. Nobodies

I got a copy of Somebodies and Nobodies free from BookCrossing. While it has some good ideas and I related to some of the personal anecdotes, it's about 50 or 75 pages too long and gets a bit repetitive. Moreover, I doubt people with power will have an epiphany and stop treating their underlings like sh*t; it's too much fun sometimes to watch people suffer. I would bet money that employee satisfaction would go up if every senior manager in my company read it and actually took some of the ideas to heart.

Speaking of books, Reprint Bookstore in DC is closing after fifty years. Damn shame, since everything else in L'Enfant Plaza, including 70% of the lunch options near my office, are shutting down as well to make way for a children's museum. However, the entire inventory is marked down at least 20%, and sales are fun :).

Just Read - The Devil Wears Prada

Yes I know I'm a bit behind in trendy reading. Just found this used at The Strand (that place can induce vertigo) and thought I would support a fellow Cornell alumna. It's a cute, fast read altogether, and I definitely sympathize with boss-from-hell trauma. Apparently IMDB is listing a 2006 movie release. There are so many reviewers out there who I'm sure would love to see Lauren Weisberger stripped down in the town square to Fruit of the Loom skivvies (how hoi polloi!), but hey, if people treat their charges like crap, it's only karmic to have it come back to haunt them. The only thing that puzzled me was Andrea's lack of fashion interest. It seems every female at Cornell with any decent social network was hyper-aware of being uber-fashionable, especially since it was almost de rigeur for entrance into certain top-notch sororities.

Maybe I should write a roman a clef about my job...but is anyone out there interested in the soap opera that is Big 4 consulting?

Triptophan

Thanksgiving has come and gone, down my throat. No matter how hard I try, I always end up eating too much, particularly with dessert. I feel my hips expanding even more. If I keep this up, my favorite jeans will fit on one leg.

Things I am thankful for:

• my family is not Jerry-Springer material
• even though my job pisses me off more often than not, it pays my mortgage and funds my travel habit
• I have been dating Jason for just about five months and have no desire to strangle him
• an addiction to books is better - and cheaper - than cocaine
• my cable modem in my apartment does not need to be reset every 15 minutes so I can have the (virtual) world is an oyster on the half shell at my fingertips.
  

Happy Turkey Day everyone!

Another Song I Never Expected to Hear at a Wedding

Start the Commotion - as the first dance. Which, truth be told, was different and fun!

Congrats Mike and Lisa!

Songs I Never Expected to Hear at a Wedding

(All not necessarily from only one wedding)
Oh What a Night
Hollaback Girl
Strokin'
The 1984 Olympic Theme
that Pussycat Dolls song
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Mustang Sally

Congrats Michele and Adam!

Delta Shuttle Celeb Sighting

I could have sworn Kathie Lee Gifford was in the row diagonally ahead of me this morning. Was very tempted to ask her how the Central American sweatshops are this time of year, but decided just to smile and admire the Dana Buchman coat and the Chanel tote she was carrying. I'm not in a snarky mood this morning.

Delta Shuttle Sighting

Senators Schumer, Lautenburg, a couple others I didn't recognize, and their respective entourages, had the first two rows reserved just for them. So much for "no assigned seating." I like sitting in the second row so I can stow my bag under my seat and still jet off the plane first. Chuckie spent almost all of our one-hour tarmac delay yakking into his cell phone. (Can't there ever be an on-time flight to LGA?!?!) In-flight, I believe I overheard some tidbits on his take of the Miers nomination. Yada yada yada... I thought he was really cool and down-to-earth when he said "Oh you can come in my car and so-and-so can go in Frank's, no need to get cabs," until I saw their town cars, complete with drivers, waiting for them outside Marine Air Terminal. Senator Lautenberg's license plate is New Jersey "US SEN". How cute.

This Could Only Happen to Me

My friend Jason got married last night - another one bites the dust. The bride walked down the aisle to a harpist playing "Con Te Partiro" by Andrea Bocelli, which I love. In fact, I think I may have even told her the title. It was interesting to see some friends all spiffy and dressed up in tuxes and bowties. The food was good, for kosher cuisine. (Thank God my boyfriend eats trafe :) )

Of course, to top off the evening, the bouquet hit me. In the face and shoulder. Nevertheless, I persevered in not catching it, and it flew over my shoulder to a bridesmaid standing behind me. Apparently there are great pictures from the photographer of me getting beaned.

Pictures are available if you click the title.

Oh Crappy Day!

Today could not have sucked anymore. My cold got worse overnight, and spending time with Jason cut into my beauty sleep (not that I'm complaining about that part). Then on the way to the Marine Air Terminal, I forgot a bunch of stuff at my apartment, but I figured, no big deal, they will let me take the next Shuttle flight. I have status, and my company always gets changeable fares, right? Wrong! The Delta staff were bitchy and unwilling to assist me get on the next shuttle flight, which was an hour later. I don't know why they are so unaccomodating when they are in danger of losing their job. Since they took up so much time arguing with me, I had to gate check my suitcase because every friggin wannabe-wonker en route to DC always has to put their small items in the overhead instead of stowing them under their seat. The middle seat was not fun either, and my ears still have not popped since take-off. The CVS nearest my client site doesn't have a pharmacy. When I stopped at the other CVS 10 minutes away to get one of the prescriptions refilled that I left at home, it took 20 minutes to be assisted. Of course, my insurance company had to deny the refill on the first pass, so I had to wait in the store to request a vacation override.

ARGH!!! Need chocolate. Damn South Beach induction phase. Only a Chipotle Burrito Bol will comfort me.

Hail to the C/Thief

Over the next few weeks, I am being sent to DC by my company to work for a federal agency. Woo woo. For each trip on the Delta shuttle, I get 1500 SkyMiles. I am salivating over this MQM boost, not to mention that I am now free from the Project from Purgatory. The only thing that is going to suck is the 7:30am start time.

Off The Wagon

Today is not a low-carb day. I need egg and cheese on a roll to sustain me through the day, after working until midnight last night. ARGH

5-Year Reunion

I can't believe I've been out of college for five years. Reunion was a blast though. After arriving in the wee hours on Friday morning with Mike and Lisa keeping me company, I have spent the weekend sweating my ass off in Dickson, running around campus to see the new buildings, checking out people who have gained weight since college (schadenfreude), and pretending I am still a student by going back to all my old haunts in Collegetown.

At the beer tents on Friday night, I caught some old guy checking me out. Turns out, he was only trying to read my button because he used to work with my late Uncle Joe. That was totally cosmic. He writes to the Times a lot, so I'm looking forward to seeing his letters.

I ended up spending some time with a guy I went out with a couple years ago, courtesy of the matchmaking efforts of my friend Mike. He invited me over on the way home for a bbq at his folks' house. It was a nice end to the weekend.

My friend Kim has her pictures here. I will put mine up soon.

Numb-er Living Through Chemistry

This whole situation with JCS has been completely unbearable. Luckily my doctor has a short-term fix. I feel, apologies to Pink Floyd, uncomfortably numb. Nothing phases me anymore, I just don't care. Is this considered normal behavior?!