Just Read - The Devil Wears Prada

Yes I know I'm a bit behind in trendy reading. Just found this used at The Strand (that place can induce vertigo) and thought I would support a fellow Cornell alumna. It's a cute, fast read altogether, and I definitely sympathize with boss-from-hell trauma. Apparently IMDB is listing a 2006 movie release. There are so many reviewers out there who I'm sure would love to see Lauren Weisberger stripped down in the town square to Fruit of the Loom skivvies (how hoi polloi!), but hey, if people treat their charges like crap, it's only karmic to have it come back to haunt them. The only thing that puzzled me was Andrea's lack of fashion interest. It seems every female at Cornell with any decent social network was hyper-aware of being uber-fashionable, especially since it was almost de rigeur for entrance into certain top-notch sororities.

Maybe I should write a roman a clef about my job...but is anyone out there interested in the soap opera that is Big 4 consulting?

Triptophan

Thanksgiving has come and gone, down my throat. No matter how hard I try, I always end up eating too much, particularly with dessert. I feel my hips expanding even more. If I keep this up, my favorite jeans will fit on one leg.

Things I am thankful for:

• my family is not Jerry-Springer material
• even though my job pisses me off more often than not, it pays my mortgage and funds my travel habit
• I have been dating Jason for just about five months and have no desire to strangle him
• an addiction to books is better - and cheaper - than cocaine
• my cable modem in my apartment does not need to be reset every 15 minutes so I can have the (virtual) world is an oyster on the half shell at my fingertips.
  

Happy Turkey Day everyone!

Another Song I Never Expected to Hear at a Wedding

Start the Commotion - as the first dance. Which, truth be told, was different and fun!

Congrats Mike and Lisa!

Songs I Never Expected to Hear at a Wedding

(All not necessarily from only one wedding)
Oh What a Night
Hollaback Girl
Strokin'
The 1984 Olympic Theme
that Pussycat Dolls song
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Mustang Sally

Congrats Michele and Adam!

Delta Shuttle Celeb Sighting

I could have sworn Kathie Lee Gifford was in the row diagonally ahead of me this morning. Was very tempted to ask her how the Central American sweatshops are this time of year, but decided just to smile and admire the Dana Buchman coat and the Chanel tote she was carrying. I'm not in a snarky mood this morning.

Delta Shuttle Sighting

Senators Schumer, Lautenburg, a couple others I didn't recognize, and their respective entourages, had the first two rows reserved just for them. So much for "no assigned seating." I like sitting in the second row so I can stow my bag under my seat and still jet off the plane first. Chuckie spent almost all of our one-hour tarmac delay yakking into his cell phone. (Can't there ever be an on-time flight to LGA?!?!) In-flight, I believe I overheard some tidbits on his take of the Miers nomination. Yada yada yada... I thought he was really cool and down-to-earth when he said "Oh you can come in my car and so-and-so can go in Frank's, no need to get cabs," until I saw their town cars, complete with drivers, waiting for them outside Marine Air Terminal. Senator Lautenberg's license plate is New Jersey "US SEN". How cute.

This Could Only Happen to Me

My friend Jason got married last night - another one bites the dust. The bride walked down the aisle to a harpist playing "Con Te Partiro" by Andrea Bocelli, which I love. In fact, I think I may have even told her the title. It was interesting to see some friends all spiffy and dressed up in tuxes and bowties. The food was good, for kosher cuisine. (Thank God my boyfriend eats trafe :) )

Of course, to top off the evening, the bouquet hit me. In the face and shoulder. Nevertheless, I persevered in not catching it, and it flew over my shoulder to a bridesmaid standing behind me. Apparently there are great pictures from the photographer of me getting beaned.

Pictures are available if you click the title.

Oh Crappy Day!

Today could not have sucked anymore. My cold got worse overnight, and spending time with Jason cut into my beauty sleep (not that I'm complaining about that part). Then on the way to the Marine Air Terminal, I forgot a bunch of stuff at my apartment, but I figured, no big deal, they will let me take the next Shuttle flight. I have status, and my company always gets changeable fares, right? Wrong! The Delta staff were bitchy and unwilling to assist me get on the next shuttle flight, which was an hour later. I don't know why they are so unaccomodating when they are in danger of losing their job. Since they took up so much time arguing with me, I had to gate check my suitcase because every friggin wannabe-wonker en route to DC always has to put their small items in the overhead instead of stowing them under their seat. The middle seat was not fun either, and my ears still have not popped since take-off. The CVS nearest my client site doesn't have a pharmacy. When I stopped at the other CVS 10 minutes away to get one of the prescriptions refilled that I left at home, it took 20 minutes to be assisted. Of course, my insurance company had to deny the refill on the first pass, so I had to wait in the store to request a vacation override.

ARGH!!! Need chocolate. Damn South Beach induction phase. Only a Chipotle Burrito Bol will comfort me.

Hail to the C/Thief

Over the next few weeks, I am being sent to DC by my company to work for a federal agency. Woo woo. For each trip on the Delta shuttle, I get 1500 SkyMiles. I am salivating over this MQM boost, not to mention that I am now free from the Project from Purgatory. The only thing that is going to suck is the 7:30am start time.

Off The Wagon

Today is not a low-carb day. I need egg and cheese on a roll to sustain me through the day, after working until midnight last night. ARGH

5-Year Reunion

I can't believe I've been out of college for five years. Reunion was a blast though. After arriving in the wee hours on Friday morning with Mike and Lisa keeping me company, I have spent the weekend sweating my ass off in Dickson, running around campus to see the new buildings, checking out people who have gained weight since college (schadenfreude), and pretending I am still a student by going back to all my old haunts in Collegetown.

At the beer tents on Friday night, I caught some old guy checking me out. Turns out, he was only trying to read my button because he used to work with my late Uncle Joe. That was totally cosmic. He writes to the Times a lot, so I'm looking forward to seeing his letters.

I ended up spending some time with a guy I went out with a couple years ago, courtesy of the matchmaking efforts of my friend Mike. He invited me over on the way home for a bbq at his folks' house. It was a nice end to the weekend.

My friend Kim has her pictures here. I will put mine up soon.

Numb-er Living Through Chemistry

This whole situation with JCS has been completely unbearable. Luckily my doctor has a short-term fix. I feel, apologies to Pink Floyd, uncomfortably numb. Nothing phases me anymore, I just don't care. Is this considered normal behavior?!

Palm Be-ach

Spent the weekend in Florida, which was much needed after last week's work craziness. Nothing like lots of carbs and wine, driving everywhere, bickering with my 'rents, and poolside sun to get me nice and relaxed...

...until I have to go back to work. ARGH

I am really unhappy with Song airlines right now. My Delta silver status did not get me priority boarding, despite the sign at the end of the boarding queue. The Delta "service assurance" representative told me that Song is a separate company. Right, that's why you're checking me in and the boarding pass says "Operated by Delta Airlines". Cow. By the time I got on the plane, they had to put my carry-on 20 rows behind me because every selfish person on board took up valuable space with their small bags in the overhead. I will have fun later on the phone with Delta's customer service representative. It is fun to pull rank every once in a while.

HFStival

My friend John invited me to go to the HFStival with him. I had a great time. Totally went off South Beach this weekend. I really enjoyed the day. We were in the "bowl" during Good Charlotte, which was my first and hopefully last experience with crowd surfers. My neck is sore from ducking errant feet and limbs. John's glasses got stepped on at one point. Billy Idol's face is pulled too tight, but his body is really amazing, especially for an old geezer that did tons of drugs in the Eighties. They forced everyone to leave the stadium right before Coldplay because of lightning - guess they are paranoid of another electrocution per the Tibet Freedom Festival. Coldplay was worth the wait, although it was funny watching Chris Martin hump the piano. I felt like I was watching some weird fetish porn or something. Foo Fighters of course was my fave.

Waffle House at midnight rocks. I wish they had them up here.

Reminder that I'm not getting any

Maybe I spoke too soon. One of my neighbors (probably not the couple with two kids next door) let out a series of orgasmic shrieks last night at around midnight. I don't think she was lifting weights. Ho hum...

This morning on my way to work, the guy next to me on the E train (who was total 80's redux with the jogging pants and the Jerri-curled hair tied back in a small braid in the back) kept using my thigh as an armrest. I had to restrain myself from bitchslapping him. Glaring and squirming didn't work, so I finally tapped him on my shoulder and pointed out that his elbow was on my leg. Ugh...

Safety Last

Some things I hate about living alone in an apartment:

• I have found four bugs so far, one dead. Two of them had thousands of legs and took up residence in my bathtub. My bathroom is not a bug spa.
  
• My neighbors make a lot of noise, between the kids watching Saturday morning cartoons or their parents having late-night conversations in some south Asian dialect. At least they do not have loud sex.
  
• This weekend I grilled a rib-eye on my stove. My apartment still smells like well-done meat.
  
• Speaking of the stove, my pilot lights constantly go out. I live in fear of being gassed in my sleep.
  
• I cannot shower in peace. Tonight, towards the tail end of my post-workout bath, after I'm all nice and relaxed, the smoke alarm went off. My water doesn't even get that hot. So there I was, dripping on my duvet, towel falling off, trying to yank out the battery without getting electrocuted. It took me 10 minutes to get the battery out. My neighbors probably hate me; I know my dad is sick of me calling with all my problems, especially late at night. I had to punch the alarm so that it wouldn't deafen me. Now I need a new smoke alarm.
  

Gah...

ARGH

Very irritated at this point in time. My feet and decolletage are peeling, and my skin has broken out from all the cocoa butter goo I have been slathering on to keep my skin bronzed and supple. Then Jesus Christ Superstar showed up today. Even though I am highly against better living through pharmeceuticals, I think this situation calls for high doses of Xanax. Damn, this summer is gonna suck.

I need a hug, preferably from a hottie with good arms.

Back to the grind...

My vacations was a success! Besides getting to the airport three hours early to compensate for our 100-meter dash to the gate last week, I have a great tan and managed to finish two books and get through most of a third:
The Godfather Returns: Very similar to Mario Puzo's style - easy prose, the usual sex, murder, and good food. No surprise, lots of people get whacked. It's interesting how they make Fredo out to be a finocchio and give Michael a rebellious, family-loathing side.
Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: I enjoyed reading this on vacation. It evokes some schadenfreude, especially when reading about other people's issues in foreign countries while stressing over whether to sit by the beach or the pool. I don't think I would ever date a convict in a Colombian jail, but that's just me.
The Russian Debutante's Handbook: Very cute. It reminds me of Jonathan Cranzen's The Corrections with respect to the cliches used and the funny business in the former Soviet bloc (although Shteyngart mocks Prague with his phony Prava, Stolovan Republic instead of setting the story in a real city). I enjoyed the peppering of conversation with Russian and the references to locations in New York.

Now, it's back to Reality. Man, I should have taken a couple days off this week after I got back. I am still in Island Mode anyway. Introduced myself to a co-worker I had already met because I didn't recognize him in a suit (although the Island Mode excuse worked well). The client inbox had about 300,000 emails to sift through, most of which ended up in the Recycle Bin. I did get some satisfaction from my tan matching my khaki pants on my first day back.

There is some random guy with really bad posture whom I caught staring directly at my chest - twice! Did he not see me glaring at him when I noticed it the first time? Question to all you men out there - do you REALLY think we are oblivious to this, and that we appreciate it?

Socks on the beach

Provo has been great so far. Did some snorkelling, managed to avoid coral stings and barracuda bites. Lots of beachcombing, sitting around doing nothing, just relaxing. Our biggest decisions are whether to sit by the beach or the pool, whether to sneak into the posh condo resort next door and use their beach chairs and umbrellas, and which of the overpriced local joints to have a meal. So far my favorite is the Tiki Hut, which used to be the Third Turtle Inn when I was here 15+ years ago.
I have been very religious with sunscreen, reapplying my SPF 15 regularly. Especially since on Wednesday I managed to get a patchwork sunburn due poor reapplication, and it was particularly annoying on the tops of my feet. I looked like a defective spumoni ice cream - vanilla chocolate and strawberry swirled together. On Thursday I wore socks poolside, it was so unbearable. My cousin took a picture, but I will not post it.

Paradise found

Yes, I have been really slacking in posting. No, this will not change any time soon. I am in Providenciales, Turks and Caicos, British West Indies (i.e., the Caribbean). No cell phone, no laptop. Nya nya...